I was published in ThoughtCatalog in 2015, but this post has now been archived (2023).
Original Facebook Post - WOAH! It is my great joy to be noticed by one of the largest collective for literary contributions! DROPPED EVERYTHING WHEN I FOUND OUT Thought Catalog READ AND CHOSE TO PUBLISH THIS*. WOOOOOW. Thank you, Thought Catalog! ♥ So so much! ♥
*Originally titled, "To the Guys Who Wouldn't Leave Me In Peace."
You. You are a noble man. I know that. People around you respect you and even told me good things about you. You have admirable principles and your beliefs are waaaay surreal. They bring me back to basics and reminded me of what it’s like to be simple. You showed me what it felt like to be appreciated beyond my own relationship and flattered me in ways my own man would be threatened. The flowers were pretty, the stuffed toys more adorable. I appreciate all your kindness and you showering me with attention. I do, believe me. I am flattered that even in my lowest mood and negative self-esteem somebody comes by and tells me I’m pretty… that I’m beautiful. That I’m loved and looked up to. I could swear you are ideal. But I digress.
I’m not at the losing end of this stick. I guess we can’t really have it all. You have a girlfriend and I would love to respect your relationship as much as I would like other girls to respect mine. There’s too much infidelity going around. I’m not one to propagate it. I do not wish to tolerate it from my own actions. If I can’t make everyone stop, I might as well not join. You have the real thing here beside you and I ask you not to make me the reason you break it. Believe me, I have no intention of destroying what you built.
Your girl. You loved and love her for a reason. You may think otherwise, but Im not any better than her. You can’t use me as a distraction to help you forget that. I have been in her place. It’s not something I would wish on somebody else. I wouldn’t want to put her there. Mine took too long to heal. On second thought, maybe it still hasn’t. But despite the good things it has brought me, I wouldn’t – still wouldn’t – put that on her.
My man. He’s had his shortcomings and own fair share of mistakes. But I’m not one to cheat on him for a man who’s also committed to somebody else. I wouldn’t – never couldn’t – entertain the thought of being happy while I’m cheating. I would love to emphasize more on how I loathe cheating but I believe you already got that. You are a wise man.
And me. Lastly. It, again, strikes a woman’s ego to know that there other men taking interest on her while she’s busy building her own empire with the man she loves. But I digress. Sometimes, I rethink this. It’s a cheap girl’s business to be entertaining other men during her fly high relationship. Then my realizations come creeping in. Changed my mind about it the moment my ego was struck. You are an insult to me. You think I’m that easy enough to not know you’re only playing me. And that I’m cheap enough to leave my man, hurt your girl to be with you. Im not that desperate to give in to your sweet talks and flying teddy bears. You are one arrogant son of a bitch (excuse me).
So this is my only and open letter to you. I hope you stick it out with her. Stay with the real thing. She’s amazing and you need to rethink your decisions. Regardless of me being with my man or otherwise, I don’t think I would ever want to be your go-to girl. Not anyone’s, for that matter. Your temptations are overwhelming and great – but what makes a person greater is doing the more difficult thing. If it was easy being faithful, everybody would be doing it. But it isn’t. And that will make you even more admirable. Let this also be my apology to your innocent girl who is just plain awesome and didn’t know you were messing with her behind her back. I have no intentions of stealing your cheating man.
